Part 2 - DAVE – June 26 to July 11, 2010

Well, I really didn't have time to finish since I had to head off to the airport in the morning for the flight back home. Please know that this part will be rated "R". I thought the bad time was behind, well, not this day either. We arrived after Trish and her Indy 500 driving skills got us to the airport. Trish was talking about her overly expensive pizza she bought the night before. Not sure what pizza is like in Hopkins but I can tell you it's not. So I told her that I would have all you can eat on Monday at Kaisers for $4.99. And yes I did, sent Rich the pictures to prove it. Well back to the story of the never ending bad karma. I boarded the Tropic Air flight from Dangriga and thought it unusual that there were two pilots. Usually the right seat is occupied by another guest. Well we headed down the runway and he started to pull up - or he thought so - and the stall warning was beeping to no end. The guy across from me and I both yelled out "PULL UP THE NOSE" and so he did and off we went. Well figured at this point was just one more goodbye kick. Not true, turns out the guy is a student pilot and of course of all days, my student pilot. Nice flight to Belize City until he decided to try his skill at being a dive bomber pilot. As we are screaming straight down towards the runway, again we hear the stall warning going off and we proceed to give our back seat flying instructions and he landed way short and of course, too fast. We got out and walked to into the domestic arrivals and waited for our bags to be tossed at us. Out of the airport and down the sidewalk to International Departures. Yes…out side…and down the sidewalk is what I said. So I waited in line for roughly 10 minutes in the non-air conditioned terminal and finally got to the ticket agent and everything was looking up. Clear skies, seat confirmed, a 737 with air, food and drinks and yes the $6.00 movie which I did not take advantage of this time. I sat next to a country lawyer from Louisiana and had a nice chat since I used to live not too far from where he lives. Seems he’s been living back and forth between the island’s and Louisiana every 6 weeks. We landed safe and sound in Houston and both walked to the customs area together. Well when we turned the corner, there had to be 2000 people in the cattle line. I thought great, I only have 40 minutes to get to my next flight, which of course is at the other end of the airport and the very last gate because that’s how airlines work. Lord they keep them all together in the same terminal. Well finally got through the initial check point and off to grab our bags for the inspection trip. Seems I pick the lines like I do at the store, the one that never moves. Well finally my turn, get to the agent, and nothing - go on through. Thought it was going to be some big deal but looks like they were trying to get people through. I didn’t have anything so it really didn’t matter. Well now I have to move to the end of terminal H, catch the train to terminal B. Got the train, as we were coming to B, the train stopped and because it was experiencing issues and I was sooo close. I’m telling you, someone does not like me. Finally the train, after 5 minutes, pulls in. Now I head down the stairs and think to myself, almost home…NOT, I get the very last gate as I said in the terminal and I notice the door reads - Pueblo, Colorado, not a bad trip but not one I was taking that day. Agent asked if he could help and I asked nicely, Milwaukee? He proceeded to point to the aircraft that was pulling away…..GREAT, just F”ing great. Of course I kept my composure and didn’t say that out load. So he pointed me in the direction of the nice line waiting for rebooks. I called Deanne and told her not go north and that I would let her know where and when. Of course she comments - What? You’ve got to be kidding! No I wish I was. Had seat 1A and a fast out when the plane landed. Well not this time and not so fast. Waited in line for about 5 minutes or a little longer with some butt plug doing everything he could to hold up the rest of us like he was the only person that missed a flight. Well we finally got tired of listening to him and the nice lady kept telling him that he was confirmed on the flight and at least had a seat. I think we wanted to fly the thing the way he was acting, so politely, two us of - of course are not in very good moods, had threatened to do bodily harm if he didn’t quit and move on. He looked at both of us and realized that we both could break him in half with our finger, and the situation was solved. The nice lady that was helping him turned out to be my saving grace. She pulled up my itinerary and noticed that I came in from Belize and understood how bad it gets in customs. She told me she was sorry and I smiled and said, not your fault, not their fault they are just doing their jobs! So she told me nicely that there were no more flights to Milwaukee and I could go stand-bye for the 10 pm flight. No thank you was my reply and she told me the next flight would be Monday morning. Well I knew that wouldn’t work either so she asked for another destination. I gave her O’Hare, another of the long lists of airports I hate. That is why I always fly from Milwaukee. She said there was a 5:30 and then she tap danced on the keyboard and then she said, no, can’t, yes, no, no yes. Well which one is it? So I really think she felt sorry and knew I saved her from the idiot moments before and she did something or bumped someone because a seat became available in 16F - middle -grrrrrrrrrrr. I was not going to complain, at least I had a seat and a flight. So thinking I was set and ready to go, she tells me - sorry honey but its back in the same terminal you just came from. The first thing to fly out of my mouth, Why can’t they put all these flights in one single terminal? She agreed and told me how she hated clocking out because it takes her 40 minutes just to get in and out of the airport to her car. So I called Deanne as I was walking back to the train to head back to the same place I started. She told me to get to the gate, stand at the door and do not move. I got back and there it was, the gate to freedom and home. The flight was supposed to board at 4:55pm, well, you guessed it. We didn’t. We were supposed to arrive in Chicago at 8:09pm, not thinking at this point that’s going to be a reality. So I spoke with Deanne again and told her that we still had not boarded and that she had time to drive to Milwaukee - which is about 45 - 50 minutes from the house, to get my bag then shot straight down 94 to O’Hare. I would meet her at departures so would not have to park. So off she went. We finally boarded at 6:15. Not bad! I walked down the ramp an inch at a time because they only let so many people on at one time. I had my carry-on bag and, when I got to the door, you guessed it, no more room so off my bag goes and now I have a check-in and I have to get it at O’Hare, something I truly wanted to avoid. I, as I usually do, commented that if anything else can go wrong today…The flight attendant heard me and said - let me get your bag, I told him no, just let it go so we can get on our way. He asked if I was sure and I told him let’s kick this thing and get. Sat down and we had to wait while three people, who couldn’t read, figure out they were sitting in each other’s seats so that had to get straighten that out. Finally the door closes and we start to move. Thank God it’s almost over. The women next to me introduced herself as Angela and we started talking about my trip and the first thing she said was your karma really sucks, you think? She told me that she would buy me as many drinks as I needed on the flight and I told her I appreciate it but would have to decline the offer. So as we waited another 10 minutes or so for our turn to take off. I commented on how we wouldn’t get to O’Hare until 9:30 or how we would be diverted to Detroit. She told me that it best not happen. Well I told her with my luck, this looks pretty promising. So off we go, everything going fine, the pilot comes on out 30 minutes out and tell us that we have to slow down because of the storms in Chicago. I look at Angela and she calls me an ass. Did I not warn you that this would happen? So in the mean time, Deanne runs to Milwaukee and waits for the flight, you guess it, no bag. So she heads to the counter and files a lost bag claim and the counter person said that it should be on the 10pm flight and they would arrange for it to be delivered within three days to the house. So as we slow down. The time is getting later and later. Deanne said it was almost impossible to see while driving in the storm. She said it was raining so hard that she almost pulled over. I told her that it was raining harder by me and I couldn’t see anything, with no possibility of pulling over. What a smart ass! She gets to the airport and keeps driving around waiting to see me waving for her to stop, well, no me! She finally parks and goes in to see on the board the arrival time has been pushed to 8:45 and the flight was inbound. Well we finally hit the runway at 8:50 - no deviation to Detroit, which at this point was a good thing, and Angela appreciated that I was at least wrong on the prediction. Well because we landed at that time does not mean we are heading for the gate. Yes, you guessed it, we are now held north of the airport on the ground due to lightning. Deanne calls and I told her we are on the ground but they won’t let us pull in. At 9:10 we start to move, stop, move, stop, move, the endless cycle of the never ending light. We finally made it to the gate at ----- yes ---- we made it - the local time 9:30 pm. Angela asking I if I would go gambling with her. Her phone rang it was her husband asking where she was and she proceeded to tell him that it was my fault they are late. So, off the plane, through the airport, to luggage claim. Get there and finally see Deanne which was a truly welcomed sight. Monday, they tried to deliver the bag but we were at work so they said they would reattempt on Tuesday and if no one was home could they leave it, sure but we should be home. Well we waited, waited, finally Bryan came home and we told him we are going out to eat and to stay and wait for my bag. It finally arrived at 11pm. The trip was now officially closed. I noticed that the tag on my bag said it had gone from Houston to Cleveland to O’Hare - not once to Milwaukee. I want the extra miles on my account for the bag travel. I love my brother to death, but Mexico is as close as I will get. They like us there and it’s easier to get in and out of the country. But don’t let any part of this story keep you from visiting him. He would enjoy the company and you won’t have the luck we had because now he’s finally legal again. Just ensure his taxes are up to date and he has the original papers before you leave the country!

DAVE – June 26 to July 11, 2010

My fun all started at 3am with storms in Wisconsin and I should have taken that as a sign of things to come. I left Milwaukee on time bound for Houston. I noticed inbound that the flight was cutting close to my next departure from Houston. Arrived with 20 minutes to hit the train over to my next flight, all ready boarded. Walked onboard and two minutes later they closed the door. While waiting for everyone’s bags to arrive from connecting flights, the pilot came on and gave us the great news that a tropical storm will be roughly 70 miles out when we arrived Belize City. Flight in was perfect then the madness started. Well when you arrive at a third world airport, you walk out of the plane onto the tarmac, not through a boarding ramp. Well the storm hit when we arrived because it had picked up speed. The door opened and I was smacked in the face with the heat and the rain that seemed to know which way to go when walking down the stairs. I made it through customs, who I would later get to know pretty well, but not as well as Rich. While waiting for my next flight, no word was given on why it was departing late but I found out later that they were using the planes to evacuate people from the islands because of my friend Alex. The time was ticking by and finally – later then never we took off into the storm. Now this plane only seats 14 people so you can realize how much we bumped our way to Dangriga looking out the pilots window trying to see the runway coming in. When we landed 15 minutes later a women came out with an umbrella and I had to laugh. I asked if that was so I didn’t get my hair wet. Hello,,,,we all know that won’t happen because I shave my head too. So we walked through the rain to the little building they use as an office. I was still wet from my initial welcome from Alex so a little more water wouldn’t hurt. Waited for Rich who finally arrived. He had been sitting waiting for some time. So off he went shopping. When we left he took me for a fried chicken dinner and my first Beliken beer which was pretty good. Fell in love with the hot sauce, Marie Sharpes, and the woman sitting near by was yelling at me to stop putting so much on, Guess it was suppose to be hot…not…but really good flavor. After we finished off we went for Rich’s new homestead. Got settled in the trailer and right off we went in the storm to fish. Have to admit, the fishing is fantastic. Didn’t catch anything big like Rich did but at least I was not skunked. The weather cleared and OMG!!!!!!!!! I believe this place is hotter than HELL! I have never spent any day completely soaked from head to toe every waking moment. Sat by the beach reading and enjoying the silence. Yes it is just like he described it. But he never added the bugs….and me being fresh meat who did they all come to…you got it…me. I was bitten by every sand flea and fly that had to be in that location and I truly think they called their friends for a new taste. I broke out and still have a rash that itches like mad. I’ve been trying everything to get rid of it. I’ll have to wait until I get home and really fight it. So we decided that we would travel to Dangriga to hit the post office, internet café and back. Again, I must tell you that this place is hotter than hell but Rich isn’’t bothered by it much anymore! Maybe living in the heat and humidity of Florida prepared him for the heat and humidity of Belize. We got back and went fishing because that’s what we like to do. Got up early and went out mid day and again early evening. No end to the fishing. Rich, Ron and I were looking forward to Lobster Fest which turned out to be chicken fest. The amount that they wanted to charge wasn’t funny. So I settled with another beer and we sat by the beach people watching and we ended the day with some soy ice cream, they both had root beer floats and I had chocolate mint…..yum. So back to the trailer we went and yes, out fishing we go. I did happen to snag a tree and an underwater log but then caught a small snook. Next we took the canoe out and went up the canal to different locations. Got a few nibbles here and there. I caught a really nice catfish that had a lot to say when he came out of the water. (They make a croaking noise.) We moved further down and Rich caught a nice snapper – 4 lbs and we ate it that night for dinner. Let me tell you, when it’s that hot and you’re soaked from head to toe, you’re not really worried about eating. But I enjoyed the coconut fish, vegetables, rice and homemade bread. Drank my share of water to make sure I didn’t dehydrate. Well we made plans to head up to Belize City to stop at a fishing shop so he could get more hooks and weights. I can’t believe something we take for granted at home can cost soooo much more here. They want $1.00 for a single hook, what is that? Then we made our way to the border so Rich can get all the money he was due back from Mexico. We made it out of Belize and into Mexico with no problems at all. We checked into the Holiday Inn and the first thing we did was crank up the air. Was nice to actually take a shower with other than cold water. We went over to the free zone, not much to do or really buy. Alcohol and cigars, what else do you need? We headed back to the room and went site seeing and found Sam’s Club – thank god for hot dogs, what a great dinner that was. We spent a couple more days messing around and we went to the border to get his money back. When we completed that the fun really began. When we tried to go over the border, the fun really began. Found out that Rich’s car tag had expired in April and the Customs agents were not very nice. They let us leave to go back to the free zone to get the money for Rich to pay the fine. Well, we went back and checked back into the Holiday Inn. Stayed a couple more days and we left for Playa Del Carmen, We hit there and checked into a really nice hotel. This is someplace I would love to bring the wife. We spent a lot of time walking and hitting the shops. Got some things to bring home to everyone. We had a balcony and we sat out there often to smoke cigars and read. Spent time in the room just chilling and Rich was trying to download as many video programs as possible. Internet was up and down every minute. We ended up spending more time there working on Rich’s papers needed to cross the border to get back home. Let me tell you, I had some really good wings at the bar. Rich needed a new pair of reading glasses so we asked a cop who pointed us two blocks down to ----Wal-Mart. Yippy another location that we both know. And no fishing stuff at all. But was really nice is we noticed the ever popular golden arches, Burger King and Subway. We actually broke down and ate at Subway then followed that with a nice coffee from Starbucks. As we continued to walk around, every merchant tried to sell you gold, silver, Cuban cigars and their sisters. We took them up on none and keep going. We opened the curtains in the room to a very large thunder storm but the rain was actually warm. We went out and walked from end to end between all the shops. We also went out driving the following day and all the streets were badly flooded. So after overstaying our welcome, we left to head back to Chetumal – when we arrived, Rich dumped me at a casino on the side of the road with the bags and gave me the talk – if I’m not back in 30 – 45 minutes go to a motel – well no Rich so back to the Holiday Inn I went. I finally received a call and he told me he was being detained. Later I received another call that he was spending the night with the rest of the bad boys. I booked into the hotel for two days just in case he was sprung. Well that didn’t happen either – now he’s being driven to Belize City and I’m in a hotel in Mexico – little dilemma – how do I get home or back to his trailer since I have his bags and I have one at the trailer. Phone calls and text messages started flying around the world. Could not find any flights from Chetumal to Belize City. Deanne found a flight back to the US which would – take two days – not this kid. So, bus schedule, not listed, thank god for Google. Rich called me the following morning and stated that he was going to be transported back to Belize City. Hey pick me up. No such luck. Found the bus that went to Belize City with 2 stops. Well I got into the station and no Rich. We were running late but I think we made up time since the driver was pouring rum into his coke while he was driving. So off we go by cab to the airport to catch our flight to Dangriga. Trish come up with open arms and welcomed the jail bird back home. He was right when he first spoke of the poverty in the area but they don’t realize it. All the comforts that we take for granted are not here. When you go shopping you go to numerous locations. It’s a nice life if your single but not for a family. I told him that it truly was an interesting trip to say the least, next time ------ we meet in Mexico! So as I sit here in the heat, sweating like a pig, and drinking Baileys over ice. I’m leaving in the morning with another understanding of life other then on my block – oh please I don’t have time to go into that. But I will never ever complain about the pot holes on my street again! I met a bunch of very interesting and friendly people that I leave behind. Thanks Ranger Peter for letting me fish in your lagoon. Thanks Ron for the outdoor movies and to Trish and Elvis for the great hospitality. This truly is a place and trip I will always remember. Again, thanks to my brother for a great time even if I didn’t know if I was going to make it home. But I already told him, next time – we will meet in Mexico. Honey I’m coming home and please do not turn off the air conditioner until winter time.