Part 2 - DAVE – June 26 to July 11, 2010

Well, I really didn't have time to finish since I had to head off to the airport in the morning for the flight back home. Please know that this part will be rated "R". I thought the bad time was behind, well, not this day either. We arrived after Trish and her Indy 500 driving skills got us to the airport. Trish was talking about her overly expensive pizza she bought the night before. Not sure what pizza is like in Hopkins but I can tell you it's not. So I told her that I would have all you can eat on Monday at Kaisers for $4.99. And yes I did, sent Rich the pictures to prove it. Well back to the story of the never ending bad karma. I boarded the Tropic Air flight from Dangriga and thought it unusual that there were two pilots. Usually the right seat is occupied by another guest. Well we headed down the runway and he started to pull up - or he thought so - and the stall warning was beeping to no end. The guy across from me and I both yelled out "PULL UP THE NOSE" and so he did and off we went. Well figured at this point was just one more goodbye kick. Not true, turns out the guy is a student pilot and of course of all days, my student pilot. Nice flight to Belize City until he decided to try his skill at being a dive bomber pilot. As we are screaming straight down towards the runway, again we hear the stall warning going off and we proceed to give our back seat flying instructions and he landed way short and of course, too fast. We got out and walked to into the domestic arrivals and waited for our bags to be tossed at us. Out of the airport and down the sidewalk to International Departures. Yes…out side…and down the sidewalk is what I said. So I waited in line for roughly 10 minutes in the non-air conditioned terminal and finally got to the ticket agent and everything was looking up. Clear skies, seat confirmed, a 737 with air, food and drinks and yes the $6.00 movie which I did not take advantage of this time. I sat next to a country lawyer from Louisiana and had a nice chat since I used to live not too far from where he lives. Seems he’s been living back and forth between the island’s and Louisiana every 6 weeks. We landed safe and sound in Houston and both walked to the customs area together. Well when we turned the corner, there had to be 2000 people in the cattle line. I thought great, I only have 40 minutes to get to my next flight, which of course is at the other end of the airport and the very last gate because that’s how airlines work. Lord they keep them all together in the same terminal. Well finally got through the initial check point and off to grab our bags for the inspection trip. Seems I pick the lines like I do at the store, the one that never moves. Well finally my turn, get to the agent, and nothing - go on through. Thought it was going to be some big deal but looks like they were trying to get people through. I didn’t have anything so it really didn’t matter. Well now I have to move to the end of terminal H, catch the train to terminal B. Got the train, as we were coming to B, the train stopped and because it was experiencing issues and I was sooo close. I’m telling you, someone does not like me. Finally the train, after 5 minutes, pulls in. Now I head down the stairs and think to myself, almost home…NOT, I get the very last gate as I said in the terminal and I notice the door reads - Pueblo, Colorado, not a bad trip but not one I was taking that day. Agent asked if he could help and I asked nicely, Milwaukee? He proceeded to point to the aircraft that was pulling away…..GREAT, just F”ing great. Of course I kept my composure and didn’t say that out load. So he pointed me in the direction of the nice line waiting for rebooks. I called Deanne and told her not go north and that I would let her know where and when. Of course she comments - What? You’ve got to be kidding! No I wish I was. Had seat 1A and a fast out when the plane landed. Well not this time and not so fast. Waited in line for about 5 minutes or a little longer with some butt plug doing everything he could to hold up the rest of us like he was the only person that missed a flight. Well we finally got tired of listening to him and the nice lady kept telling him that he was confirmed on the flight and at least had a seat. I think we wanted to fly the thing the way he was acting, so politely, two us of - of course are not in very good moods, had threatened to do bodily harm if he didn’t quit and move on. He looked at both of us and realized that we both could break him in half with our finger, and the situation was solved. The nice lady that was helping him turned out to be my saving grace. She pulled up my itinerary and noticed that I came in from Belize and understood how bad it gets in customs. She told me she was sorry and I smiled and said, not your fault, not their fault they are just doing their jobs! So she told me nicely that there were no more flights to Milwaukee and I could go stand-bye for the 10 pm flight. No thank you was my reply and she told me the next flight would be Monday morning. Well I knew that wouldn’t work either so she asked for another destination. I gave her O’Hare, another of the long lists of airports I hate. That is why I always fly from Milwaukee. She said there was a 5:30 and then she tap danced on the keyboard and then she said, no, can’t, yes, no, no yes. Well which one is it? So I really think she felt sorry and knew I saved her from the idiot moments before and she did something or bumped someone because a seat became available in 16F - middle -grrrrrrrrrrr. I was not going to complain, at least I had a seat and a flight. So thinking I was set and ready to go, she tells me - sorry honey but its back in the same terminal you just came from. The first thing to fly out of my mouth, Why can’t they put all these flights in one single terminal? She agreed and told me how she hated clocking out because it takes her 40 minutes just to get in and out of the airport to her car. So I called Deanne as I was walking back to the train to head back to the same place I started. She told me to get to the gate, stand at the door and do not move. I got back and there it was, the gate to freedom and home. The flight was supposed to board at 4:55pm, well, you guessed it. We didn’t. We were supposed to arrive in Chicago at 8:09pm, not thinking at this point that’s going to be a reality. So I spoke with Deanne again and told her that we still had not boarded and that she had time to drive to Milwaukee - which is about 45 - 50 minutes from the house, to get my bag then shot straight down 94 to O’Hare. I would meet her at departures so would not have to park. So off she went. We finally boarded at 6:15. Not bad! I walked down the ramp an inch at a time because they only let so many people on at one time. I had my carry-on bag and, when I got to the door, you guessed it, no more room so off my bag goes and now I have a check-in and I have to get it at O’Hare, something I truly wanted to avoid. I, as I usually do, commented that if anything else can go wrong today…The flight attendant heard me and said - let me get your bag, I told him no, just let it go so we can get on our way. He asked if I was sure and I told him let’s kick this thing and get. Sat down and we had to wait while three people, who couldn’t read, figure out they were sitting in each other’s seats so that had to get straighten that out. Finally the door closes and we start to move. Thank God it’s almost over. The women next to me introduced herself as Angela and we started talking about my trip and the first thing she said was your karma really sucks, you think? She told me that she would buy me as many drinks as I needed on the flight and I told her I appreciate it but would have to decline the offer. So as we waited another 10 minutes or so for our turn to take off. I commented on how we wouldn’t get to O’Hare until 9:30 or how we would be diverted to Detroit. She told me that it best not happen. Well I told her with my luck, this looks pretty promising. So off we go, everything going fine, the pilot comes on out 30 minutes out and tell us that we have to slow down because of the storms in Chicago. I look at Angela and she calls me an ass. Did I not warn you that this would happen? So in the mean time, Deanne runs to Milwaukee and waits for the flight, you guess it, no bag. So she heads to the counter and files a lost bag claim and the counter person said that it should be on the 10pm flight and they would arrange for it to be delivered within three days to the house. So as we slow down. The time is getting later and later. Deanne said it was almost impossible to see while driving in the storm. She said it was raining so hard that she almost pulled over. I told her that it was raining harder by me and I couldn’t see anything, with no possibility of pulling over. What a smart ass! She gets to the airport and keeps driving around waiting to see me waving for her to stop, well, no me! She finally parks and goes in to see on the board the arrival time has been pushed to 8:45 and the flight was inbound. Well we finally hit the runway at 8:50 - no deviation to Detroit, which at this point was a good thing, and Angela appreciated that I was at least wrong on the prediction. Well because we landed at that time does not mean we are heading for the gate. Yes, you guessed it, we are now held north of the airport on the ground due to lightning. Deanne calls and I told her we are on the ground but they won’t let us pull in. At 9:10 we start to move, stop, move, stop, move, the endless cycle of the never ending light. We finally made it to the gate at ----- yes ---- we made it - the local time 9:30 pm. Angela asking I if I would go gambling with her. Her phone rang it was her husband asking where she was and she proceeded to tell him that it was my fault they are late. So, off the plane, through the airport, to luggage claim. Get there and finally see Deanne which was a truly welcomed sight. Monday, they tried to deliver the bag but we were at work so they said they would reattempt on Tuesday and if no one was home could they leave it, sure but we should be home. Well we waited, waited, finally Bryan came home and we told him we are going out to eat and to stay and wait for my bag. It finally arrived at 11pm. The trip was now officially closed. I noticed that the tag on my bag said it had gone from Houston to Cleveland to O’Hare - not once to Milwaukee. I want the extra miles on my account for the bag travel. I love my brother to death, but Mexico is as close as I will get. They like us there and it’s easier to get in and out of the country. But don’t let any part of this story keep you from visiting him. He would enjoy the company and you won’t have the luck we had because now he’s finally legal again. Just ensure his taxes are up to date and he has the original papers before you leave the country!